Thinkkit #4: 2 cents.

Prompt: The best advice I was given this year.

Worry about yourself.

I always used to think about how every decision I made would impact other people. Every year growing up I would get to go to whatever restaurant I wanted on my birthday and yet I would think of what restaurants served food that my parents and sister would like. I hate when I have the remote control in a room full of people watching television because I don’t know if someone hates Jeopardy and here I am enjoying it. I don’t want to be the reason we turn the heat on at work because I am wearing fingerless gloves at my desk. If I am given the wrong drink at Starbucks I will just take it rather than inconvenience the barista by having to make another. I have been called a doormat.

I don’t assert myself or speak my mind if I think it will cause someone else to be uncomfortable. I allow myself to take the fall or fade into the background rather than step forward.

Generally putting other people before yourself is a good thing. It is an attribute that people aspire to have and yet sometimes it can hold you back. When I was given the opportunity to take a different role at my current employer my immediate thought was “no, I can’t do that to my current team”. My parents, the VP of my dept., and the book ‘Lean In’ all told me to worry about myself. So in that decision and in many decisions since that moment I have decided that I need to worry about myself more often. I need to do what is best for me unless it would actually impact someone negatively. I have to remind myself that sometimes it is okay to worry about myself.

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